If you are a nerd and lonely, apply your nerd powers to social skills

Rational optimization works for pretty much everything, including how to get along with people

It certainly worked for me.

When I was 20 I was very lonely.
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So lonely it was causing mild depression, though it took me many years and spreadsheets to discover this

When I realized that I wanted more friends and to get along better with people, I set as a goal that I wanted to be able to invite 10 people to my birthday the following year

14 years later I'm an extrovert who's learned she doesn't like parties, but I could invite hundreds to my party.

And a sort of person who can land in Rwanda and not know a single soul and immediately make friends and form connections with people around me 

And this wasn't magic 

I just applied nerd skills to socializing 

I read books. 

I talked to people who are more skills than me and peppered them with questions. 

I did deliberate practice. 

I did a lot of trial and a lot of error. 

It took a lot of effort in time, and some places are a lot easier to make friends than others. For example, I come from the West Coast of Canada, and people are a lot more standoffish than say, San Juan, where it's hard not to make friends with anybody you meet. 

But work with what you have. 

Put the effort into finding friends that you would put into finding a good relationship. It's similarly important for your happiness. 

And just like with relationships, it's better to be proactive instead of just waiting and hoping that somebody approaches you who is good

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